Friends are people who are an important part of our lives. This is because they can easily influenced us either positively or negatively. And you know, the kind of friends you choose to have is a clear picture of who you are and what your character, attitude, and philosophy of life are.
However, to have the best experience of life in the company of your friends, you must choose your friends carefully. You must be able to recognize what your personality is and how you can be of positive effect in the life of the other person.
Every friendship relationship you enter into must be with a purpose. There must be a mutual focus, vison to keep you on track and feedback from both sides. This means that a one-sided friendship relationship is simply one that might tend to sniff life out of your neck. It can also be referred to as a parasitic relationship and the next thing you should do if you find yourself in such a relationship is how to break up from a parasitic relationship.
Ok now. There are three kinds of friends that you can have in your life. I will discuss the first two briefly now and the third category of friends is our main focus in this article. The first category is ‘casual friends’ or ‘acquaintances’ while the second category of friends is ‘intimate friends’.
Casual friends or acquaintances are people whom you recognize by face or even by name but you have limited or no information about them and vice-versa. They are people you seldom or often have physical contact with but with no personal relationship. These are people you meet at work, in the classroom, in college, in church, in the neighborhoods and even as you go on in the journey of life.
However, as situations and circumstances arise which brings you in frequent close contact with a casual friend. There is a possibility that a casual friend can become a close or intimate friend. People who are your intimate or close friends can be people whom you relate more closely with. They are selected from your casual friends and they can be 40% of your casual friends. There is a common ground that brings you together regularly. This could be a group project, teamwork, church unit or department, club, family, etc. When you recognize that you have personalities in common with such a person and then there is an attraction to one another.
However, there is a tendency that an intimate friend becomes causal because of the lost in the common interest. This may happen when the common ground that has brought you together is dissolved, a change in focus, vision or personality by one or both parties.
Nevertheless, the third category of friends is the kind of people that I have called your ‘inner circle friends’. Sometimes, they are also chosen from your intimate friends and sometimes you can meet them in the journey of your life.
Friends in your inner circle are people that you have a long term common interest focus vision pursuit and philosophy of life with. You have built a long term mutual trust, welfare, respect, understanding passion, and a common life pursuit together. They are people whom you trust that they will always watch your back any day and time. Moreover, you are always ready to help each other and life will be the sweetest with them. This category of friends are rare to find and this makes them very few in number. You will need inner circle friends in business, career, ministry, family, etc. You might have one or two of them in your life and at most three. I have recommended at most three members for your inner circle friends, because, you don’t need too much of them.
Your inner circle friends are people who are close to you and in such a way that you have developed a personal and intimate relationship with them. You share closely related vision, passion, aims and objectives, life goals, and life philosophy, life principles, and attitude, character, faith and belief systems. Your inner circle friends have detailed information about some specific areas of your life. They are people who know your strength and weakness. You can trust them, however, for comfort, encouragement, support, and sometimes correction when you act contrary. Every member in the inner circle friend can always trust each other for support and care.
10 Top questions to answer before choosing your inner circle friends.
1. How long have you been in a consistent, committed and intimate relationship with him/her?
2. do you share and pursue a closely related vision, passion, believes and faith?
3. Is he/she always positive about your success or other person’s success?
4. Does he/she exhibit negative vibes, such as, jealousy, envy, depression, criticism, etc.?
5. Do you plan and work together to achieve a common goal?
6. Do you share common interests in specific areas of your life such as career, academics, faith, marriage, etc.?
7. Do you have an agreement of friendship?
8. Can he/she defend you any time?
9. Is he/she confidential?
10. Do you share feedbacks about your progress?
12 Top Qualities of friends who should be in your inner circle
1. Trustworthy
2. Honest
3. Accountable
4. Loving
5. Positive-minded
6. Result-oriented
7. Visionary
8. Passionate
9. Resilient
10. Supportive
11. Confidential
12. Excellent communication and relational skills
