Wow! It’s really great and exciting to be married. It just seems like you’re in heaven. Isn’t the feeling that you just tied the nuptial knot with the love of your life thrilling? Yes, it is. The newlywed experience is one of the fascinating and exciting experience one could ever have. The excitement of spending the rest of your life with the love of your life comes with the feeling of peace and unity with no reason to think that you could have a misunderstanding even for a few seconds.
But all of a sudden, you don’t feel the spark you usually feel between you two anymore. You feel cold towards your partner and your spouse looks like a stranger, who you are just meeting for the first time. And the next question that comes to your mind is “what’s happening to us?”, where did love went to after our wedding?, where is this misunderstanding coming from?, and why can’t we agree on a thing just for once?
Married life comes with a whole lot of work and responsibilities and also with much joy, fun and excitement. However, there is a tendency that we will face some challenges that can bring tension between us as couples. These tensions can result in arguments and misunderstanding but the truth is that most of these misunderstandings between couples can sometimes be avoidable if well-handled.
Yes, as individuals, your have your differences and they are the major cause of misunderstandings that pop-up among newlywed couples. However, understanding important facts about handling misunderstanding between newlyweds can help you to retain and grow the love you had for your partner before the wedding.
Wondering about how to make your marriage a palace full of joy, peace and all the goodies of life?
Then you should learn these amazing ways of handling misunderstanding for newly wedded couples.
1. You are not always right
Having the knowledge that you are not always right is the key to considering your partner’s opinion about issues. Pushing on your idea and enforcing your partner to recognize that you are right can lead to a misunderstanding. When there is a controversial view about an issue, take time to listen to what your partner has to say. Even if you don’t agree at the moment, you can ask for some time like a few hours, a day or more to think about it and take a critical look around the issue. You should always respect your partners view about issues and then take a cooperate decision on how to handle the misunderstanding.
2. Have an open and right communication
You don’t have to keep to yourself and bear grudges with your partner. Schedule a time for open, down to heart discussion with your partner. Say only what you mean, and mean what you say. Be sincere in your conversations. Don’t allow a simple misunderstanding lead to a big mess in your marriage. Make sure you make your intentions clear and also use the right words while expressing yourself. Let your words, tone and body language correlate with what you are trying to say. Try to communicate the right emotion that you are feeling to your partner. No assumptions or gestures, get down and do some talking together.
3. Listen and don’t talk while your partner is talking
Its wisdom to listen quietly while your partner is talking. You don’t have to interrupt either to defend yourself or to make any point while your partner is still speaking. Rather, stay calm, and listen quietly so that you can understand your partner’s view about the issue. More so, give your partner 100percent of your undivided attention as this will help you to have a good understanding of the reason for the misunderstanding and how to best handle it.
4. Be ready to compromise
If you have to compromise your decision to be able to make peace with your spouse, then do it as long as what your partner wants is not a sin and it’s not going to affect you negatively. your ability to make compromise is one of the way to handle misunderstanding. sometimes you might have to throw away your idea about an issue and buy into your partner’s idea so as to make him/her feel loved and valued.
Losing the argument does not mean you are looser, it only means you are a seeker of peace.
Taking charge of your negative emotions will strengthen you to face the problems between you and your spouse with a positive attitude. You should control your emotions no matter how bad you’ve felt. Do not allow your emotions to control your actions when handling a misunderstanding. Instead, analyze the situation using your reasoning and come up with a positive action that can help to prevent or reduce the negative effect of your partner’s actions on you. Even when you feel like standing up and walk away or engaging in verbal or physical abuse, you should gather your inner self to hold back these negative emotions.
Couples who forgive each other over and over again will stay longer together in marriage. Don’t worry, you will soon overcome the newlywed stage of marriage and get to know your partner more. its too early to give up on your partner. however, misunderstandings are meant to help you discover each others differences and how to manage them. Prepare your mind to forgive the wrong your partner has done, though forgetting may not be easy at the moment but time has a way of healing our wounds.
6. Love again
I know you’ve been deeply hurt, but you can still open your heart to love again. You should make a decision to love your spouse, especially when all the ‘in-love’ emotion has faded away after the honeymoon. Taking the decision to love your partner again is the first step to strengthening the relationship between you and your partner. Loving your partner unconditionally will strengthen you in overcoming hurts from any misunderstanding and to overlook the negative sides of your partner while you focus more on the positive attitudes or actions.
7. Seek help if you need to
If you feel that you can’t resolve the misunderstanding between you and your spouse by simply talking about it together, then you should seek help. Don’t let your marriage die by keeping silence. Talk to a Christian marriage counsellor today to help restore love and peace into your marriage.
Do you need further counselling about handing misunderstanding for newlyweds? Contact Shine Rose by sending in an email message to shinerosewriter@gmail.com.
