4 Deadly Behavioral Patterns of Emotional Blackmailers You Must Know
Behavioral Patterns of Emotional Blackmailers are easy to notice even though they are subtle and might not be seen as Emotional Blackmail to the victim. Having a good knowledge of the Behavioural Patterns of Emotional Blackmailers will help you know how to protect yourself from a such toxic relationships.
Even though emotional blackmailers frequently employ a variety of strategies, these four deadly Behavioral Patterns of Emotional Blackmailers can be deadly to your relationship.
Behavioral Patterns of Emotional Blackmailers
- Punishers
Someone who is using punishment tactics will make it clear what they want and then threaten you with dire consequences if you don’t give in.
Direct threats are common, but punishers may also use other forms of aggression, anger, or silence to exert control. This is commonly known as a silent treatment where the blackmailer keeps to themselves, suddenly becomes silent in the middle of a conversation, and ignores your presence.
Take this as just one example:
Your significant other greets you with a kiss at the door and says,
“It was a massive day for me in sales! Allow us to rejoice”. With a wink and a nod, he suggests having dinner, dance, or romance.
Then you reply, “Congratulations! But, you know, I’ve been working myself to death. I had planned to unwind with a long soak in the tub. What about the day after tomorrow? ”
Then Immediately His mood shifts, and it’s over. He storms off down the corridor, slamming doors behind him. He ignores you when you try to follow and talk to him.
- Self-punishers
In addition to threats, one of the Behavioral Patterns of Emotional Blackmailers is self-punishment. An emotional blackmailer can also involve physical violence. However, self-punishers won’t threaten you; instead, they’ll tell you how your defiance will hurt them. Letting you know how bad they will feel or even doubt your love, if you do not give in to their request.
For instance, an emotional blackmailer might say, “If you don’t give me a loan, I’ll have to sell my car tomorrow.”
“It’s true that we’d be without a home if you didn’t offer us shelter. Consider your niece and nephew! What might happen to them is anyone’s guess. Will you be okay with that? ”
A person engaging in self-punishment may try to shift the blame for their problems onto you so that you’ll feel sympathetic and willing to help.
- Sufferers
Many times, a person who is suffering will be unable to put into words the emotions they are experiencing.
They might say nothing directly to express their displeasure if they feel you have wronged them or if they are requesting assistance, but instead might display:
- expressions of melancholy or despondency, such as frowns, sighs, tears, or wallowing
- Experiencing distress
However, they may also provide a detailed explanation of what is causing them distress.
To give just one illustration:
You were talking to a pal about finding a roommate for your single bedroom and shared bathroom last week. The question your friend asked was, “Why don’t you let me stay there for free?” You shrugged off the comment as a joke and laughed at it.
He was crying on the phone when they called you today, saying,
“How miserable I am. I can hardly muster the energy to get out of bed,” he complains. After going through an awful breakup, I now have to deal with my miserable coworkers, but I have no money to quit my job. Please, let something good happen to me. As it stands, I simply cannot maintain my current level of stress. It’s likely that my mood would improve dramatically if I had a place to stay temporarily where I didn’t have to worry about making rent payments.”
If you consent, then, he has successfully manipulated you into letting him stay in your apartment for free because he knew you have an extra space in your apartment that you actually wanted to rent out.
- Tantalizers
Emotional blackmail can take on the appearance of benevolence in specific contexts. This is one of the subtle behavioral patterns of emotional blackmailers that are hard to notice by the victims.
To make you consent to their idea, a tantalizer will offer you praise and encouragement while dangling a reward in front of your face. However, once you get past one obstacle, another will appear. You’re going to have to slow down. This is a way of manipulating you to get what they want because of a reward they promised. These behavioral patterns of emotional blackmailers are common in a relationship that you expect to lead to marriage. The emotional blackmailer continues to manipulate you with a promise to get married to you in the nearest future.
Sometimes a boss will tell you that you’re doing great work. They softly let you know, “You possess all the skills I need in an employee such as a regional manager. I am planning to open a new branch office, and the position will open up soon. Can I rely on you until then? ”
You feel ecstatic because He has finally convinced you. You’re working longer hours, skipping lunch, and even coming in on the weekends because your boss keeps piling on the extra work. When the new branch office was opened, your boss drops the subject of promoting you.
Upon your inquiry, they become abrupt.
“I have employed someone who is more qualified with more years of experience handling a new branch office.” I think it’s better you keep working here in your role till you gain more experience. I was hoping for more from you, He’d said.
How to Deal with and respond to the Behavioral Patterns of Emotional Blackmailers
You can respond effectively if you believe you are the target of emotional blackmail by doing a few things.
The behavioral patterns of emotional blackmailers (such as using guilt to get someone to do what you want) can be learned from one’s family or previous significant others, as such actions become a habitual means of satisfying basic human wants.
However, there are those who would purposefully resort to emotional blackmail. You might wish to avoid these situations such as ending the relationship if you don’t feel confident approaching the person.
The first step to deal with the behavioral patterns of an emotional blackmailer is to :
- Distinguish what is and isn’t emotional blackmail
You might desire to push back when your loved one’s wants or boundaries cause you stress or pain.
Everyone, however, has the option to define and reaffirm personal boundaries. Only when there is an element of coercion, threat, or control can emotional manipulation be considered blackmail.
However, it is possible to misinterpret a current circumstance as blackmail by bringing up unpleasant emotions and recollections from the past. This is an important reason for you to identify the behavioral patterns of emotional blackmailers.
Emotional blackmail can result if we respond to someone out of fear or insecurity, thinking that setting limits or saying no will result in rejection. You must check out the behaviors of your partner and be sure they are any of the behavioral patterns of an emotional blackmailer.
- Don’t lose your cool keep calm and take time to make your decision
If someone is trying to manipulate you, they may insist you respond quickly. When you’re feeling anxious and upset, you could cave in without thoroughly weighing your options.
This is one reason why blackmail is effective. Just try to keep your cool and tell them you need some time.
Say something like, “I’m indecisive right now. I’ll have to think that over and get back to you with my thoughts.
Stay firm if they keep putting pressure on you to make a decision right now (or rise to threats). Repeat it, calmly, that you need some space to think.
- Commence a dialogue
The breathing room you provide yourself will allow you to plan. Sometimes, how you choose to respond to a situation will be determined by factors including the nature of the behavior and the urgency of the request.
Before you start a dialogue with a suspected emotional blackmailer, think about your own safety first. You can talk if you don’t worry about your physical or mental safety.
A sizable percentage of blackmailers have a firm grasp of their craft. They care only that their needs are met, and are willing to pay any price to do so.
The other person is using you as a pawn in a strategy they think will help them get what they want, and they have no idea how their actions affect you. Here, having a dialogue with them can help raise their level of consciousness.
You should let your partner know how their actions or words have affected you. Please give them a chance to alter their ways.
- Pinpoint the causes of your problems.
In most cases, a person attempting to influence you will have a clear grasp of what may set off emotional responses from you.
Maybe they’ve threatened to cause a disturbance if you express a distaste for arguing in public.
Reclaiming your agency in a blackmail situation begins with gaining insight into the other person’s worldview and the irrational fears or beliefs that underpin it. It will be far more difficult for the opposing party to employ them in a destructive manner.
Using the same example, this could entail developing a go-to line of defense whenever someone threatens to engage you in an argument in public.
- Engage them in a settlement
When you are able to identify the behavioral patterns of emotional blackmailers, especially in your significant other, you should engage them in a settlement.
Your refusal may be taken less seriously if you give the other person the opportunity to assist you in finding a workable alternative.
To get them to work together on a solution, start with a statement that acknowledges their emotions.
Perhaps you explain to your significant other, “I’m hearing you feel irritated because I’m spending the weekend with my buddies. Could you explain to me why you’re so downtrodden? ”
This shows empathy for the other person’s feelings and shows your willingness to collaborate with them.
The Bottom line
Is there a plan if your partner says he will hurt himself when you refused his request or engaged in dialogue?
It’s human nature to want to please someone who threatens bodily harm if you don’t comply with their demands.
Constantly remind yourself that you are responsible for the choices you make. However much you care for someone, you cannot decide for them.
Helping them get in touch with resources (like 911 or a crisis line) is better for both of you. You can also read a book on handling emotional blackmail.
As a result, Emotional blackmail often takes the form of sarcasm, relationship “tests,” unfair blame, implied threats, and the resulting feelings of guilt, duty, and dread.
It may seem like giving in is the best approach to avoid conflict, yet doing so usually results in the manipulator increasing their pressure.
Sometimes it’s possible to talk sense into the other person; other times, it may be necessary to cut ties or see a therapist. Nevertheless, for your emotional and physical well-being, you should identify the behavioral patterns of emotional blackmailers and know the right action to take.
